The Scientist and the Assassin
by BeastWithinProductions
Summary: Prelude to my 'Search for the Warhammer'.100 years before they were even Captains Mayuri and Soifon were 3rd seats working under their captains. They had nothing in common but fate finds them being pushed towards each other, But will it work?


**The Scientist and the Assassin **

Surely you all know of the current Captain of squad twelve and squad two. The mad doctor Mayuri and the very strict and orderly Soifon. By looking at these two you'd surely say that they'd have nothing in common, however that is not entirely true. But that is a story from long ago, 100 years to be exact before they were even captains.

As you know to be at the top you have to start at the bottom. But during their time as third seats the two were watched over by their current captains.

At that moment in the squad twelve barracks the current Captain Kisuke Urahara was in the bathroom shaving away any stubble he had.

With razor in hand he ran the blades along his face. He didn't notice it but in the doorway behind him stood Mayuri, he had his head poked out from the hallway and observed his captain.

"Is that you Mayuri?" asked Kisuke not turning to look as he saw him in the reflection of the mirror.

Mayuri stepped out from his hiding spot and into full view. He was much different looking that he'd be in his later years.

"Yes sir." He said.

"Come in." said Kisuke with a friendly wave of his hand." Don't be shy." Very cautiously however Mayuri walked into his Captain's bathroom and stood beside him." How do I look?" asked Kisuke as he turned and showed his shaven face to Mayuri.

Mayuri nodded his head, looking to the ground then back to his Captain." Good ." He replied.

"Excellent." Said Kisuke. Then he turned, grabbed a towel and wiped whatever shaving cream was left on his face." But please Mayuri call me Kisuke."

"Yes sir." Said Mayuri as he looked off in another direction." Sir, I don't really see the point in you shaving."

"I've got to look good when I stand before my peers." Said Kisuke as he turned and left the room, Mayuri followed him as he went.

True there was a Captain's meeting today but it was an 'unofficial' one seeing as how if it was official the Captain of Squad eleven would never come, and there were important topics to discuss.

"But sir." Said Mayuri as he followed." I've never seen the Captain of squad eight shave." As Kisuke walked through the barracks Mayuri followed. They walked past a window and looking outside one could see the squad eleven barracks run by the tenth Kenpachi, Kenpachi Kiganjo.

Kisuke stopped at Mayuri's statement and rubbed his head." You're right he doesn't." he replied." But still I like to look good." Then Kisuke slid open the front door. Then there to Mayuri's shock stood several other Captains.

There was Captain of Squad eight Shunsui Kyoraku with him Captain of Squad thirteen Jushiro Ukitake, Captain of squad six and Byakuya's Grandfather Ginrei Kuchiki, and lastly Soifon predecessor Captain of squad two Yoruichi.

Mayuri couldn't help but drop his jaw as he saw them all standing there. Kisuke turned back and addressed him.

"Mayuri I'm leaving you in charge during my absence." He said.

"What?" asked Mayuri surprised." Me." He began to stutter as he saw so speechless on what to say. Kisuke leaned down and put his hand on Mayuri's shoulder.

"I have faith in you." He said with a warm smile as he patted him." Good luck." Then he turned to the other Captains and said "Let's go."

Then the group of five headed off, and as they went they were joined by the other Captains say for the Kenpachi who would join them in secret at the Squad one barracks.

**Captains: ****United we stand**

**Now and forever**

**In truth**

**Divided we fall**

**Hand upon hand**

**Brother to brother**

**No one shall be greater than all**

**United we stand**

**Now and forever**

**In truth**

**Divided we fall**

**Hand upon hand**

**Brother to brother**

**No one shall be greater than all**

**Yamamoto:**** It's been ten years we celebrate**

**All that made our kingdom great**

**Liberty and justice**

**For all**

**Each of us will now divide**

**In equal shares, our countryside**

**Promising equality**

**For all who reside**

**Captains: ****United we stand**

**Now and forever**

**In truth**

**Divided we fall**

**Hand upon hand**

**Brother to brother**

**No one shall be greater than all**

**Rojuro:**** Liberty**

**Kensei:**** Justice**

**Kisuke: ****Trust**

**Love: ****Freedom**

**Shinj:**** Peace**

**Ginrei:**** Honor**

**Unohanna:**** Goodness**

**Shunsui: **** Strength**

**Ukitake:**** Valor**

**Kenpachi Kiganjo: ****ME! **

"Charming sing along." Said Kiganjo as he leaned over."Now let's get down to business, I heard today was a day of special magnificence." The other captains rolled their eyes or held their heads in disgust at the kenpachi, expect for Yoruichi who was probably the only one in the soul society who liked Kiganjo. Perhaps it was because he was the only black soul reaper or maybe because they two would have sex every so often.

"Captain Kiganjo." Said Yamamoto addressing him as he rubbed his old eyes." If you could for one day act like an officer."

Kiganjo said nothing but stood back in his place proudly knowing he'd upset the old man as he took great pride in it.

"Today I'd like to tell you all about funds and paperwork." Continued Yamamoto He waved for his lieutenant who brought over several files filled with paper." The eight division." Said Yamamoto as he held a file up, it was horribly put to together and filled with papers most likely from the captains drinking. But Shunsui couldn't help but smile at it." The sixth division." Said Yamamoto holding up a neat and ordered file." The second and twelfth divisions." Said Yamamoto holding up two files. The respective Captains looked to each other and smiled." And." Said Yamamoto as he snapped his fingers. At that point Sasakibe brought over an empty folder." The eleventh division." He took the empty file and opened it revealing nothing inside. The other captains looked at Kiganjo strangely while he looked off in another direction picking at his teeth as if uninterested which he most likely was.." Captain Kiganjo this is a problem." Said Yamamoto as he threw the empty file to the ground.

The other captains looked at Kiganjo." Not that I have to explain myself to any of you but I've had a good month."

"How?" asked Yamamoto.

"I would have done all my paperwork." Said Kiganjo turning to the old man." But it was during 'chill time'." Chill time is what Kiganjo had made at his barracks. A schedule he created which ran from 12 am Monday to 12 am the next Sunday making it basically 24 hours of just 'chilling out'. During chill time you aren't expected to do anything and since its 24/7 nothing ever gets done at squad eleven." Plus I had to go online and buy the Lord of the rings Blu-ray and order tickets for the hobbit."

"Don't you already have the lord of the rings dvd?" asked Yoruichi.

"I've got the dvds, video." Said Kiganjo as he counted on his fingers." High def, bootleg, the books, the book signed by Tolkien, -"

"Enough." Said Yamamoto as he waved his hand." This is not the way for a captain to act." Kiganjo then realized the meaning of today's meeting. Yamamoto wanted to openly explain his problems about the Captain's work ethic." We have rules and order and-"

"Then maybe it's time for new order." Spoke up Kiganjo as he stepped out of rank." A new head Captain and I vote for me." He said pointing to himself. The other captains began to stir.

"I will serve no other head Captain." Said Shunsui as he and Ukitake stepped up.

"Then serve." Said Kiganjo." A DEAD ONE!" Then with great speed he bounded forward and towards Yamamoto. Bu the other captains jumped at him.

Kiganjo punched Shinji in the face sending him to the ground. Then the grabbed Kensei by the head and threw him into Rojuro. When Love came at him from the front Kiganjo just head-butted him. Then he looked over to Yamamoto.

Kiganjo then ran up to him. But then Yamamoto raised his cane and when Kiganjo hit it he flew back onto the ground. Yamamoto then stood up.

"One day soon old man." He said as he rose to his feet." I will come back at the turn of the tide." Then he turned and ran out the door, while the rest of the captains collected themselves. The only reason he ran to his barracks was that he knew Yamamoto was the only one who would come after him, however he would never enter his barracks due to the fact that he and Kiganjo loathed each other so much. Even if he had to fire Kiganjo which he could do on many principles he would never make his way to his barracks because he hated his company so much. Because under no circumstance Yamamoto could never bear talking to him.

"Alright." Said Yamamoto as he rubbed his head." Meeting adjourn." Then the captains began to leave.

"Kisuke." Said Yoruichi as she approached him." What are you doing now?"

"I was going to head back to my barracks." He replied.

"Oh because I would have suggested we go out."

"I would." Said Kisuke.' But my subordinate needs me, I left him in charge during my absence and I want to see how he's done."

"Subordinate." Said Yoruichi as she poked her chin." That Mayuri kid?"

"Yea." Replied Kisuke. Yoruichi nodded and then said

"I too should be getting back to my barracks, Soifon will most likely want to know why I've been gone so long."

"Yea." Said Kisuke." She was always rather protective of you."

"And I for her." Said Yoruichi." See you around." She said before turning and heading for to the squad two barracks.

Kisuke then returned to the squad twelve barracks, and when he did he found all was not well.

When he came back It appeared as if there was a fire in the barracks as a large black smoke cloud come from it. Kisuke quickly rushed to the scene to find several division members covered in black sot.

"What's happened?" asked Kisuke as he bent down next to them.

"Mayuri." They replied." That's what happened, he was conducting an experiment and the next thing we knew there was a fire."

"Where is he now?" asked Kisuke.

"Hiding in his room." Replied the division members.

"Let me go talk to him." Said Kisuke. Then he turned and walked towards the direction of Mayuri's quarters. He then found his way and went for the knob only to find it to be locked. Then Kisuke knocked on the door." Mayuri." He said." It's Kisuke." There was no reply." Mayuri I know you're in there." Still nothing." Mayuri don't act like such a child open this door."

Moments later the sound of grinding gears was heard and then the door opened slightly. Kisuke looked down and saw Mayuri peering out at him.

"Is it bad?" asked Mayuri. Kisuke looked back in the direction of where the accident was.

"It's over now." He replied.

"I screwed up big time didn't I?" asked Mayuri.

"What exactly happened?" asked Kisuke." Tell me everything." Mayuri opened the door and allowed his captain to come in. Then Kisuke walked in and followed Mayuri as he went over and took a seat on the wall.

"I was conducting an experiment." Told Mayuri." I mixed the bottles and next thing I knew." He waved his hands in the air." There was a fire."

"Well what did you do about it?" asked Kisuke as he sat down next to Mayuri.

"I didn't know what to do so I ran." Told Mayuri.

"Now that wasn't a smart thing to do." Said Kisuke." A very wise leader always rises to the challenge." He spoke in a very soft and honest tone." What do you think I've been trying to teach you all this time?"

"I'm not fit to be your successor." Said Mayuri as he hung his head.

"Don't get so upset." Said Kisuke." I just have to teach you some more." Mayuri said nothing. "You're a smart kid Mayuri." Said Kisuke as he put his arm around Mayuri. But Mayuri sat nothing and sat there with his head hung low." Do you feel up for taking a walk?"

"What?" asked Mayuri as he looked at him.

"C'mon." said Kisuke as he helped Mayuri to his feet." Let's go."

"Where are we going?" asked Mayuri as Kisuke led him out of the door.

"Just a walk c'mon." he said.

Meanwhile at the squad two barracks.

Yoruichi had just returned from the captains' meeting. Upon entering her barracks she walked through the courtyard, only to have the strange feeling she was being followed. When she looked around however she saw nothing.

"Is that you Soifon?" she asked. Several moments later a younger Soifon crept out of the shadows and wandered over to Yoruichi's side.

"Master." She said as she stood beside her captain." You've returned."

"Yes Soifon." Said Yoruichi as she bent down and rested her arm on Soifon's head." I was only at a captain's meeting I told you I'd be back."

"But I worried master." Said Soifon." Worried wondering what bad things could have happened if you hadn't come back."

"You need to lighten up Soifon." Said Yoruichi as she began walking away.

"Where are you going?" asked Soifon as she followed.

"Just around you're more than welcome to join me if you'd like."

"Yes master. I'd like that."

Meanwhile Kisuke, Mayuri and several other twelfth squad goons were walking around the soul society.

"So you don't think you want to be a captain?" asked Kisuke.

"No." said Mayuri with a shake of his head.

"Why not?"

"I don't think I'd a good one."

"You'll never know unless you try." Said Kisuke." I'll just have to keep teaching you, and-" he was interrupted as several lower ranking officers wished him good afternoon to which he replied good afternoon, upon passing Mayuri the officers wished him the same however he did not reply feeling odd in the situation." And." Said Kisuke turning to Mayuri." You'll get instant respect." Mayuri turned from the lower officers and ran to catch up with his captain." As a captain I answer to no one say for the head captain, I'm free to run my squad any way I please." He turned back to Mayuri who seemed more interested now." How's that sound."

"Well." Began Mayuri but he was stopped as Kisuke put his hand up silencing him.

"Here." Said Kisuke as he reached into his pocket." Watch this." Then he pulled out his watch and placed it on a nearby lamppost." Shall we continue?" he asked as his group followed.

"You'll just leave it there?" asked Mayuri.

"Safe as a bank." Said Kisuke." Since all knows it's mine." Then the group continued on." See Mayuri, being a captain gets you lots of privileges. And I want to see you succeed just as much as I have.""

It was then at that moment they looked forward and saw a large figure approaching in the distance. Kisuke recognized him immediately but Mayuri hadn't ,it was Kiganjo. Slowly the groups walked towards each other until they were face to face.

"You think my watch would be safe up in that lamppost Kisuke?" asked Kiganjo as he stopped.

"Why don't you hang it up there and see." Said Kisuke stopping as well.

"Someday." Said Kiganjo.

"Someday is right."

"Who's the boy?" asked Kiganjo turning to Mayuri.

"This is my student and my successor Mayuri." Said Kisuke. Mayuri stood back and said nothing keeping his head low. Then Kisuke walked forward and his group followed.

But as Mayuri passed Kiganjo raised his hand along his face.

"Hey." Said Mayuri turning to him, causing Kisuke and the others to look.

"Just wanted to see your face boy." Said Kiganjo with his hands up." No harm intended." Then he turned and walked off, Mayuri turned and walked away. But then when they walked off Kiganjo turned and looked back at them, he looked as everyone else walked around him. Then Kiganjo turned and walked off.

Mayuri caught up with Kisuke.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Our neighbor." Said Kisuke." The captain of squad eleven, Kenpachi Kiganjo." Mayuri glanced back to see the Kenpachi in the distance. All he knew of the man was that the only thing he considered greater than his godly caliber was the Lord of the rings which he enjoyed religiously." My point." Said Kisuke." He takes privileges of all the power given to him as a captain as he does no work at all."

The group continued on their way and Kisuke marveled Mayuri with his story as a captain. But then as they walked they spotted two figures coming at them.

There were Yoruichi followed by Soifon. Mayuri knew the captain as she had come back their barracks sometimes however he didn't recognize Soifon.

The two women walked towards the two men and then at one point they crossed.

"Good afternoon ladies." Said Kisuke with a nod of his head which Yoruichi replied with a nod of her own. Then Kisuke walked away from them and Mayuri approached. He stood before the two women and did the same as Kisuke and nodded his head, Yoruichi once again returned the nod but Soifon only looked at him oddly. Soifon and Mayuri past each other and looked each other over very quickly. Then Mayuri ran after Kisuke.

"Who was that?" asked Soifon to her Captain.

"That was Mayuri Kurotsuchi." Told Yoruichi." He's Captain Urahara's student, much like how you are to me." Then she suddenly stopped, she'd been struck with an idea.

"But what's he do?" asked Soifon breaking master's concentration.

"OH don't you worry about it Soifon." She said as she turned." You'll know soon enough." She said to herself.

Later that night Mayuri and Kisuke were in the squad twelve laboratory working on an experiment. They were working peacefully until there came a mysterious knock at the door.

"Could you get that Mayuri." Said Kisuke.

"Yes Captain Urahara." Said Mayuri. Kisuke rolled his eyes, hoe often would he have to tell him to just call him 'Kisuke'. Mayuri walked up and opened the door and there stood Yoruichi.

Mayuri was going to say something but found his tongue tied. Yorucihi looked past him and to Kisuke.

"Kisuke." She said causing him to turn around.

"Madam Yorucihi." He said as he turned and walked over to her." What brings you here this evening?"

"Well I actually needed to talk to you." Said Yoruichi as she looked to Kisuke. Mayuri stood by listening while on this went on." In private." She said turning to Mayuri.

"We have no secrets." Said Kisuke looking from his fellow captain to student.

"Start." Said Yoruichi as she grabbed Mayuri and pushed him out the door, then shut it behind him as she and Kisuke talk.

"Bitch." Said Mayuri softly as he stood on the outside of the door.

Inside the lab the two captains talked.

"What's this all about?" asked Kisuke.

"I've got an idea." Said Yoruichi unable to hide a sly smile.

"An idea." Said Kisuke as he crossed his arms and nodded his head." What kind of idea."

"Well you and I have been such good friends for a long time." Continued Yoruichi.

"Right." Said Kisuke as he sat up.

"We've so much in common."

"Yea." He said with an energetic bob of his head.

"Most notably we have two students who would do anything for us."

"Right." Said Kisuke with a less energetic nod. She waited to see if he understood but by the peculiar look on his face he didn't.

"You understand what I'm getting at don't you?" she asked.

"No." replied Kisuke almost immediately. Yoruichi raised up her hands.

"We get Soifon." She said while shaking her left hand." And Mayrui." She said shaking her right." Together." She said as she put her fist together. Urahara looked taken back for a moment but then he spoke up.

"That's genius." He said." But do you think it'll work?"

"They might be resentful at first." Said Yoruichi." But who knows stranger things have happened."

"Oh yes." Said Kisuke as he walked around." Oh I love." He said as he waved his arms around." This is a damn good idea; I'm not surprised I thought of it before." He turned back to her." When do you want to set them up."

"Tomorrow night." She replied.

"Tomorrow night it is." He replied as he rubbed his hands together and laughed.

"But we should keep quiet about it for now." Said Yorucihi." We should just act natural."

"Of course." Then Yoruichi walked over and opened the door. When she did she found Mayuri sitting there waiting and a large grin couldn't help but cross her face.

Then Kisuke appeared behind her and also grinned madly as he saw Mayuri. The two captains looked down at him with grins which brought some fright into the boy.

"It's been a pleasure." Said Kisuke in almost laugh to Yoruichi causing her to face him, but the two still kept their grins. Do drop by anytime."

" Until we met again." She said. And then she walked off. Kisuke watched her go with a grin still on his face. Mayuri looked up at him oddly.

As the next day went by Soifon and Mayuri noticed something odd going on. Yoruichi and Kisuke were acting very strange, always having a smile on their face and laughed whenever they spoke to their pupils. But the night came quick and at this time Kisuke was dressed in a tuxedo and was looking at himself in the mirror. He tied his bowtie on tight then grabbed a bottle of cologne. Looking in the mirror he could see Mayuri watching him.

"Oh Mayuri." Said Kisuke." Do come in here will you." Mayuri walked in and stood next to his captain.

"Getting ready for a date sir?" he asked as he walked in."

"Something like that." Said Kisuke with a smile.

"What is it you want sir?" Mayuri said as he stood there.

"Tell me how this smells." Said Kisuke as he held the bottle befoe Mayuri's face. He leaned over and inhaled the sent.

"Well sir." He said." It's got a powerful stench to it, with some flavor added."

"Excellent." Said Kisuke then he pressed down on the bottle and the colone in his pupil's face. Mayuri stepped back and coughed wildly.

"Hey." He coughed." What the." When he looked up he saw Kisuke standing over him.

"Now we'll have to get you out of those cloths." He said.

"WHAT?" asked Mayuri surprised as he jumped back against the wall.

"Well you can't meet this lady like that." Said Kisuke as he turned his back to him.

"Met a." Mayuri's voice trailed off." You set me up with a woman."

"Yep." Replied Kisuke. He stood tall and turned to Mayuri." Is that a problem?" he asked. Mayuri of course didn't want to offend his master.

"No." he replied." It's just." He stumbled to find a word other than 'agitating'" So damn nice of you." Was what he said.

"Well I'm glad you agree." Said Kisuke with a smile." C'mon." he said as he walked out of the room." I should have some old cloths that fit you." Mayuri sighed but then followed Kisuke,

Meanwhile at the squad two barracks.

Soifon was in the same predicament as Mayuri. She stood in the hall of the barracks in an extravagant purple dress that Yoruichi had bought her. She herself was in a red dress.

"You look perfect." Said Yoruichi. 'Perfectly foolish' Soifon thought to herself.

"What's all this about ma'am?" asked Soifon.

"We've got some important gentleman coming over tonight." Told Yoruichi." I want them to feel welcome." She then looked down to Soifon." Will that be a problem?"

"No ma'am." Replied Soifon as she stood there obediently.

Just then the door opened and the two women looked to see Lieutenant Omeade poke his head into the door.

"Captain, your guests have arrived." He told.

"Good." Said Yoruichi with a smile." Announce them in at once." The lieutenant turned and left." Here we go."

The lieutenant returned to the gate where Mayuri and Kisuke waited in their tuxedos.

"Gentlemen." Said Omeada as he let them in." You are most welcome here." As he spoke she shined a bright gold ring on his right hand down on them. To his disappointment they said nothing.

"The squad two barracks?" asked Mayuri." Who do we know here other than the captain?"

"You'll see soon enough." Said Kisuke as they walked. Mayuri thought and thought but could think of no one other than Yoruichi. The two walked up and stood before the door." Just do as I do." Mayuri nodded and Kisuke pushed open the door. Yoruichi smiled as the doors opened and there stood Kisuke and Mayuri.

But Mayuri and Soifon only looked up in shock.

"Kisuke." Said Yoruichi as she walked towards him leaving Soifon baffled behind.

"Yoruichi." He said doing the same to Mayuri. Yoruichi walked up and curtsied before him.

"So happy you could come." She said.

"Happy to be here." Said Kisuke with a bow. The two glanced back at their pupils who only eyed their counterpart strangely across the room. Neither looked ready to come forward, the two Captains looked to each other nervously. They would have to make the first move.

"And is that Mayuri there." Said Yorucihi looking past Kisuke. Mayuri stopped looking at Soifon for the first time and looked at the captains.

"Don't be shy my boy." Said Kisuke as he extended his hand to Mayuri." Come here." Mayuri grabbed his hand only to be pulled forcibly in front of his master before Yoruichi.

"Soifon." Called Yoruichi." I don't believe you two have been properly introduced." Soifon took this as her cue and slowly walked forward as everyone's eyes were on her. Then she moved and stood before her captain and only several feet away from Mayuri. She looked at him oddly and he looked back in the same way." Soifon, this is Mayuri he's Kisuke's pupil." Soifon looked on with a look of disinterest.

"Make the first move." Whispered Kisuke into Mayuri's ear.

"What?" he replied.

"Kiss her hand." Mayuri turned around with a look of shock and replied 'Hell no.' But then a scold look from his master and he reconsidered. At that moment Yoruichi pushed Soifon forward. Soifon looked back and her captain was waving her forward.

"So happy you could come." She said threw gritted teeth. Mayuri rolled his eyes back at Kisuke then to Soifon.

"So happy to be here." He said. He looked back and saw Kisuke motion to his hand. Mayuri gulped and took a deep breath. Awkward moments of silence past between him and Soiofn as their captain's watched. Then in one quick motion Mayuri grabbed her hand and kissed it, then he quickly dropped it. And thus the introductions were out of the way.

"Wonderful." Said Yoruichi as she stepped out from behind Soifon." We've got dinner waiting in the next room."

"Great." Said Kisuke. Then he extended his arm to her." Shall we?" Yoruichi smiled and then took his arm then the two walked off.

Mayuri and Soifon were left behind. Then when their master's left Soifon reached over and hit Mayuri across the back of the head.

"What the hell?" said Mayuri rubbing the spot hit as he looked at her.

"Why the hell you'd kiss me?" she asked.

"Wasn't my idea." Replied Mayuri raising both hands." I wouldn't be caught dead kissing you."

"Are you saying I'm not good enough to kiss?" she asked.

"What?" he replied in confusion.

"Look." Said Soifon as she stepped close to him." I don't like this idea any more than you do." Mayuri nodded in some agreement." But for my master's sake I'm going to be on my best behavior, as for you and yours I don't really care." Then she turned and walked off.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch." Muttered Mayuri as she left. Then the two entered the dining hall to see their captains at the head of the table. The two walked in separately and sat separately. Their captains sat at the end of the tables so they sat in the middle across from each other.

Kisuke and Yoruichi eyed them the whole time.

"Mayuri." Whispered Kisuke." You should have pulled out her chair for her." Mayuri rolled his eyes and rubbed his head. Soifon looked up at Yoruichi who winked at her.

Then at that moment the servants came in with dinner. They placed the trays down and opened them revealing turkey. One placed the utensils and another lit the candles.

At that moment Omeada was closing the gate but suddenly a large hand reached out and stopped him. Looking up the lieutenant saw Kiganjo there.

Omeada was used to Kiganjo's comings as they were usually inside his captain. However tonight was different.

"Hey." Said Omeda running after the Kenpachi." Where you going?"

"I'm going to go bone your Captain." Told Kiganjo as the lieutenant stood before him.

"I'm sorry but you can't." he replied as he crossed his arms. He waved his hand showing off his bright gold ring." She's busy tonight." As he waved his hand Kiganjo saw the ring and kept his eye on it the whole time." And the last thing she wants is-" Just then Kiganjo jumped on him and wrestled him to the ground. Omeada tried to get free but Kiganjo was too strong for him. Kianjo grabbed his right hand and looked at the ring. Then he stuck the finger in his mouth and bit it, the lieutenant let out a horrifying scream as Kiganjo bit his finger off.

Then Kiganjo stood up and slid the finger off the ring and he observed it. He looked for red markings, and pure gold but the ring had a large diamond on it.

"Here you go." Said Kiganjo as he tossed the lieutenant his ring and finger." No need to thank me, it was not the one ring. But if it was your welcome for saving the world." Then he walked off as Omeada held his bleeding hand.

Meanwhile the group sat and ate in silence the Captains eyeing their students who eyes each other with annoyed looks.

"Say Kisuke." Spoke up Yoruichi breaking the silence. Everyone looked up at her." Why don't you come help me with something."

"Help with wha-" he said but when she winked at him he had his answer." Right." He said with a smile." Shall we." Then he stood up just as she did.

"You two stay." Said Yoruichi pointing to Soifon and Mayuri." We won't be long." Then the two captains walked out as their students watched.

"They're not coming back are they?" asked Soifon.

"Nope." Said Mayrui. Then the two groaned and turned back to their food, then looked up at each other." So." Said Mayuri." How'd she get you into this?" Soifon looked at him annoyed but responded " Said she had a man for me and hoped I wasn't disappointed. How about you?"

"Same." He replied." Only he said a woman." Sofion rolled her eyes at him. Silence fell upon them.

"So." Said Soifon." Why is it that you?" Mayuri looked at her oddly as she waved before her own face." Look like that?"

"This isn't how I really look if that's what you're asking."

"Then why do you look like that?" Mayuri was stone cold silent." You must be the ugliest guy in the world if you hide your face behind that." Mayuri stayed silent." Or is it family genetics or-"

"I don't have any family." Mayuri spoke up." Captain Urahara took my father's place for me."

"I am similar." Soifon replied." My family is also gone and madam Yoruichi-"

"I don't remember asking." Mayuri broke in. Silence fell on the two once more.

Meanwhile outside.

"How do you think it's going?" asked Yoruichi.

"Ok so far." He replied as he looked back." I just wish he'd make a move."

"They'll be fine. We were probably just making them uncomfortable."

"I hope your right." The two stood in silence and looked up at the moon.

"Wow look at that." She said as she looked up at it." It's beautiful."

"Yea beautiful." Said Kisuke as he moved closer to her. He was about to have his arm around her when someone appeared. They turned around to see Kiganjo standing there.

"Kiganjo." Said Youichi as she left Kisuke's side to hug the large man. She wrapped her arms around him but he did not hug her back.

"Who's this herb?" he asked pointing to Kisuke. The captain of squad twelve became frightened as the Kenpachi looked him over.

"He's a friend." Said Yoruichi.

"Uh-huh." Replied Kiganjo. Then he pushed her forward then turned to approached Kisuke." Listen." He said." I boned both your previous captains, so if I get fucked over it's your ass!" Then he pointed his large meaty finger in Kisuke's face." Even if it's not your fault, its' your ass. You got me?" he asked as he leaned down real close and shining his eye over Kisuke.

"C'mon Kiganjo." Smiled Yoruichi as she took Kiganjo's hand and they began to walk off. But the whole time the Kenpachi kept his eye on Kisuke." Kisuke make sure everything goes well." She said with a wave. He waved back but muttered 'Damn' to himself after they left.

Meanwhile back at the table were sitting Soifon and Mayuri in an uncomfortable silence. They sat in silence, poking at their food then looked up at each other.

"I know what's going on here." Said Soifon suddenly as she slammed down on the table, frightening Mayuri.

"You what?" asked Mayuri as he reassured himself in his seat.

"I know why they've brought us two together." Said Soifon.

"Oh do tell." Said Mayuri sarcastically as he rested his head on his arm.

"Your captain and my captain want us to." However she did not complete your sentence.

"Want us to?" asked Mayuri looking at her waiting for the answer.

"I cannot say." She said." A lady would never use such words."

"And you're a lady?" asked Mayuri. Soifon glared at him with an angry look while he smiled back.

"Ok." She said." They want you and I to." She put her hands up and crossed them together." Have intercourse."

"Yea I figured that out." Said Mayuri.

"You what?" asked Soifon as she sat back confused." Then why'd you have me say it."

"Because I thought it would be funny." He replied with a smile." You're not very bright are you? I knew that the second I walked in and saw you." Silence fell on them once more.

"So are we gonna?" asked Soifon.

"Gonna what?" replied Mayuri. Soifon raised her hands up again and crossed them." You and me?" asked Mayuri. Soifon nodded and he let out a cackling laugh." No."

"Why not you think you can do better than me?"

"I KNOW I can do better than you."

"And what will your master think?". Mayuri shot up at her choice of words." After he had all this put together, you'd disgrace him with no going ahead with his wishes."

"Well I." stuttered Mayuri.

"Look." Said Soifon as she stood up." I don't like the idea any more than you do. But I will not dishonor madam Yoruichi and I'm sure you don't want to dishonor you're captain either."

"Yes." Said Mayrui.

"Very well." Said Soifon as she stood up and walked over to him." My room is down the hall third on the left." She placed a key in Mayuri's hands." Wait five minutes and I'll be ready." Then she walked off and Mayuri looked down at the key.

He waited the five minutes and then walked to Soifon's room. He stood before the third door and the left and knocked.

"Come in." he heard a voice in the other end say. Then slowly he gripped the knob and opened the door. When he did he saw Soifon laying in her bed cover herself from the chest down.

"You ready?" she asked in a nervous voice. Mayuri made no reply but walked in, then he reached for the light" Keep the light off." He moved away from the switch." You should take your clothes off. Then Mayuri slowly began undressing.

Upstairs in the room just above then Yoruichi was screaming at the top of her lungs as Kiganjo went inside of her then out.

Soifon and Mayuri however had a different and stranger time. Mayuri lay on top of her, she below him and the two just looked at each other. He was very stiff and straight as he rocked in and out of her. And she was very quiet only letting out a slight shriek as he pounded her softly.

At that time Kisuke returned to the dinner table to see a very strange sight, no one was there. He looked around in curious confusion to see where everyone was.

"Mayuri." He called. No reply." Soifon." Still no reply. Kisuke then began to wander the halls to find the two.

Back in Soifon's room, the two continued their awkward ritual of sex. As he kept pounding down on her she had her arms wrapped around his back.

Just then the darkness of the room was broken as the door opened and light shined in. The two looked around to see Kisuke standing in the doorway.

"Woah!" he exclaimed as he saw Mayuri on top of Soifon. The two shrieked in response and Soifon moved to cover herself up causing Mayuri to fall off the bed." I never knew you'd do this on the first date Mayuri." He laughed. Mayuri poked his head out from behind the bed stuttering." Ok, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." Then she shut the door. In the aftermath Mayuri and Sofion sat there in silence looking at each other.

A short time later Kisuke and Yoruichi stood by the front gate of the barracks.

"They were really having sex?" asked Yoruichi surprised.

"Yep." Smiled Kisuke.

"Then this went better than expected." The two then laughed as the talked about the whole situation. However for their pupils it was another story.

The two had awkwardly gotten dressed, Soifon forcing Mayuri into the other room as so he'd not see her naked to which he didn't understand.

Then the two exited their rooms and stood before each other in the all. The two said nothing as they began walking. Soifon wanted him gone ASAP and Mayuri had no complaints.

"So are we going to talk about this?" asked Mayuri.

"No." said Soifon." I'd just like to put this idea out of my mind forever."

"Agreed." Said Mayuri with a nod. Then Soifon looked up at him and him down to her.

"I don't want to see you again." She said.

"Likewise." He replied. Then the two turned and went their separate ways.

And from that day on the two were never the same. They'd see each other from time to time as their Captains would try to set them up but they'd find some way out of it. Soon after their masters would both leave the Soul Society and the two became even stranger. Mayuri became a madman and would often confine himself to his lab while Sofion became more strict and orderly. And later on the two became Captains of their divisions. However the problem with that is being a captain means you see all the other captains on a Day to Day basis.

**The End**


End file.
